aw! I wish there were more to both of these, cause you guys are so rad. charlie, I know about all the stuff that's been going on with you so I'm glad to see you putting up anything. zest, your story was very cute and I loved it! I just wanna see more complete pages to go with it :c

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ZEST-
Page 1- When I tend to show a shot like the one in panel one, I tend to follow a rule where they all keep tbe same eye level. In otherwords, next time draw a line accross and have be where their eyes line up so i falls in perspective and the front character succesfully looks like hes looking at the back character. Another thing i reccomend is using thicker lines for closer characters and thinner lines for te back.that or simplify details for farther characters.
This page would have been more successful if you flipped the two characters so that leland would be looking from the right and the other character from the left Since the other is the one that starts the conversation.
A good thing to work on during the thumbnail stage is seeing how make the composition work with word bubbles and making word bubbleswork with your composition.
Page 2- kinky. But i feel like a different angle for the pov shot of luna wouda worked better or you should try some warm ups on forshortening. I love flipwolf's heart, shoulda added a smile on his face. Maybe done a higher angle to contrast the luna panel.

Te last panel feels like you should have bring all 4 characters together to make it clearer who leland was talking to and why he would have to look up.

PAGE3- i really love the first panel, but theres not much i can say that i havnt said before. I guess just put in a bg once and awhile.
PAGE4 and 5- again not much that ihavnt previously mentioned, woulda ben nice to show a shot of the leland and zippo when the cop car comes in to give us an idea of where they're coming from. The ending in this was real cute.

Thanks for the crit, not sure how much I can accurately take in considering well...I mean look at the damn thing lol. Thanks anyway though.

Charlie- what i really like about your sketchy work is that you can still pull off a raw organic look, dispite working digitally.
I wanna do a page by page crit for the both.
PAGE 1
Felt like you shoulda played more with the lighting to focus on things on each panel like the moon in the window, and higlighting Leland in the third panel. Woulda felt a bit more like seeing through the eyes of Luna if you showed her hand at the edge of the bed and leland have leland Looking at the Veiwer in last panel.
PAGE 2
 Lighting gets a lot better here. Dispite the roughness, this page was legible.
PAGE 3
Not much i can aay about this but i feel like you should drawing in bigger pupils from time to time or work on eye expressions because it looks like leland Is nervous but more like fearing for himself than her fall.
Page 4
I really like the intensity of the page. If it wasnt for whatever thing was gping on in your life, It woulda been nice to see you tighten and clean up that last panel. Maybe switch it back to normal.

Overall. Even if you didnt complete this, i recommend you should continue this story in your next battle with leland as a supporting character.

Charlie, the art might be sketchy and all, but you still manage to make it work because it's still very clear and dynamic. And that's probably the most exciting story you've given us, it's all suspensful and mysterious and RIGHTEOUS.

Zest, I dig that styke you're using here. Luna  especially looks so crazy and cool. The story was really fun, but also hard to read. Your pages are kind of all over the place and there are too few elements to focus on.

This was cool and I hope you both make more comics soon!

Holy moly! You take a day or two to get ready for a tournament and come back to a grab bag of awesome battles!

CHARLIE- I know you're beating yourself up over not giving your 100% but I really hope it doesn't dissuade you from battling. Your stuff is really great and the storyline you've provided for us to see was very engaging. I definitely want to see more.

ZEST- Painwolf, haha! Not going to lie, did not see that coming. Great pages and even better environments. I really dug the style as it felt unique to your usual look. The exaggerated hands for the bro fist panel were really neat. Gave the whole battle a lightheartedness that complimented well against the humor. I especially liked the animalistic poses you placed Luna in-most notably atop that tall shrub. Honestly, I am just stoked to see you battling with Leland again- missed that bro!

Aw, that's a bummer man. I just uploaded mine- hope we can do a proper battle someday!

Don't get too excited for my end guys. This is another one of the "Charlie Shits The Bed" comics and further proof that I need to get my shit together :/

Anyway, my apologies Zest. I just uploaded. This is probably the worst comic I have ever done on this site and that isn't fair, I apologize. If I ever do battle again I've intertwined Leland into Luna's story for the time being, but I am sorry that this fight had to turn out like this. One day I'll make it up to you somehow, just not sure how yet.

Oh man Luna's back!!! this ones gonna be interesting

Totally cool with me, man. C: I'm just excited to see your finished comics! I probably needed the extension too, even though mine's not gonna be super-long either.

Had to throw on an extension. Life dealt me some shit cards the last little while here which set me back on Blackstripe...which set me back on this. I'm in a mad dash to get Blackstripe done and will resume work on this pronto!!

Don't expect a lot of pages though or an action epic (neither was my intention this time), but I'll make sure there is a story here and nicely rendered pages all the same

I hope that is acceptable Zest!!

GET HYPED GET HYPED GET HYPED GET HYPED GET HYPED GET FUCKING HYPED.

This makes me so happy.

Way to kick off the new year :O

Lord... almighty.

Two words: awe some.

Definitely a fight to look forward to. Bring it on you two.

EPPPIIIIIICC!

WHOAAAAAA NELLY.

Oh god! Go hod! WANT.

SO PUMPED

2013 IS NOT READY FOR OUR SHIT

GONNA UPDATE MY REFS WHEN I GET HOMEEEEE.

Super excited actually, I was going into this earlier feeling all depressed but now I get to fight a character I've really wanted to fight for a while !!