Good job with the writing. It was short, but coherant and left me wanting to read more.
I think you need to vary your line widths more. On the first panel I can see that you're making an effort to do so, but you don't push the difference enough. The lines on mountains are the same width as the trees and her hair.
That being said, your art is still very readable, your colors make everything pop the way it needs to. Great job on the colors by the way. Conveys COLD very well.
SledgeHammer / Edge
Critiques & Comments
# 4
Posted:
Dec 15 2012, 03:30 PM
# 3
Posted:
Dec 14 2012, 02:56 PM
I second the disappointment of briefiness, but I am totally hooked! It was so casual based on the characters conversation, but the visuals carried the aftermath of that battle with the tentacle dragon thingy. Man, would I have loved to have seen that rumble.
Loving your chunky and textured colors, not to mention the chilly atmosphere you managed. Great work!
Loving your chunky and textured colors, not to mention the chilly atmosphere you managed. Great work!
# 2
Posted:
Dec 14 2012, 01:22 PM
I'm disappointed its so brief, because I REALLY want to know how THAT THING got through there, like the awesome hammer woman said. Tell me. Please.
All in all I'd say what I enjoyed most about this was the story set-up (though I insist you continue the story!) and giving the woman personality. Do be careful about the WORD BALLOONS though--they look messy when the text bumps up against the bubble. I think the text would look better with less lead space between lines.
Overall, an intriguing tease into Edge's world and the greater struggle against the outer darkness (er something)
All in all I'd say what I enjoyed most about this was the story set-up (though I insist you continue the story!) and giving the woman personality. Do be careful about the WORD BALLOONS though--they look messy when the text bumps up against the bubble. I think the text would look better with less lead space between lines.
Overall, an intriguing tease into Edge's world and the greater struggle against the outer darkness (er something)
# 1
Posted:
Dec 14 2012, 11:46 AM
Muscular woman with a sledgehammer? I like it already! ^_^
You managed to give her body shape and size, without just adding a million lines (like I do) that's pretty impressive. Plus you do so much with the colors you chose for the monster and the shading. Though it seems you tried to use a particular shading effect once or twice on a panel, then didn't want to use it again. A number of your panels have lines or bits of shade bleeding past their borders, it doesn't seem to occur often enough to be deliberate. Since the third page isn't on a white background it works much better. I liked how you added effects to the big panel, as the smaller ones grew closer to the eye, nice touch.
You managed to give her body shape and size, without just adding a million lines (like I do) that's pretty impressive. Plus you do so much with the colors you chose for the monster and the shading. Though it seems you tried to use a particular shading effect once or twice on a panel, then didn't want to use it again. A number of your panels have lines or bits of shade bleeding past their borders, it doesn't seem to occur often enough to be deliberate. Since the third page isn't on a white background it works much better. I liked how you added effects to the big panel, as the smaller ones grew closer to the eye, nice touch.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Dec 20th, 2012
Votes Cast:
18
Page Views:
1489
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Artist
@JAZ: Oh god, Line Widths, they do need work. I shall have to keep an eye on that. It is certainly something I easily forget, which is a shame because it's pretty essential and very effective.
@Kozispoon: Cheers muchly! I think this works better in it's brief form, hopefully I'll be able to revisit this world soon.
@Mr Kent: That's what setup is all about! I'm aiming to hit this later in the year, might even end up being a graphic novel sized story if I have my way...
Oh man those word balloons are so weak looking at them, I shall have to look into other ways of applying them, maybe mucking about with the font to make it less crisp too. Solid advice there, thanks!
@Taylor: Never change man, never change.
I think I gave her body a less built set up than Tsumi, she's not a bodybuilder, just a strong person.
Some of the panels do bleed a bit, but I was only intending to let that happen with line art. Guy Davis does a similar thing but he of course pulls it off better.
Yeah I need to work on shading consistency, maybe next time?
Thanks for all the kind words folks!