Ninemafia: I LOVE YOUR INK WASHES and splatters too. There's so much character and sweetness to the style, from the cursive lettering to the seeping blacks of the dream sequence- great structure and compositions. Although you style is relatively simplistic it's very effective and your story was meaningfully well written. Your sense of continuity and development of Bhindi is coming along nicely.
Otakutaylor: Much improved anatomy and lines here, your grays also look great. That spewing of dialogue is frantic to the point of difficult to read, and though you have similar stories and resolutions I think your characterization of Tsumi as a gentle giant is perfect. Continue taking steps to differentiate your line widths and change up some tones and you'll have a a strong toolbox going.
Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 2 / Bhindi vs. Tsumi
Critiques & Comments
# 16
Posted:
Apr 27 2012, 11:26 AM
# 15
Posted:
Apr 25 2012, 09:56 PM
ninemafia-the interaction between Tsumi and Bhindi was very sweet. I really liked the simple toning you had here, it worked well for your style. You may want to practice getting consistent washes, because while it worked for the most part, there were times the toning got very uneven.
Otakutaylor-I liked that you and your opponent had very similar stories, it was nice to see how Tsumi treats people that she's not fighting. I know it probably wasn't possible this time around, but your stuff would look quite a bit better with some shading on it. The toning you have works fine, it's just without any shading or different linewidths, you don't have much depth.
Otakutaylor-I liked that you and your opponent had very similar stories, it was nice to see how Tsumi treats people that she's not fighting. I know it probably wasn't possible this time around, but your stuff would look quite a bit better with some shading on it. The toning you have works fine, it's just without any shading or different linewidths, you don't have much depth.
# 14
Posted:
Apr 25 2012, 08:19 PM
Aw, so sweet, both of you!
I love that you both decided to work off of your characters' feelings of being different and used it as a lovely bonding moment. I wish I'd known someone like Tsumi when I was little, I would have had a lot more self-confidence. Bhindi is a very believable as a mixed up/scared kid, she's awesome and adorable.
I love that you both decided to work off of your characters' feelings of being different and used it as a lovely bonding moment. I wish I'd known someone like Tsumi when I was little, I would have had a lot more self-confidence. Bhindi is a very believable as a mixed up/scared kid, she's awesome and adorable.
# 13
Posted:
Apr 25 2012, 02:11 PM
Really cute comics from both of you!
nine: Wow. Your traditional work is much stronger than your digital, and I really think you should stick with it. I think it looks great. Plus, your comic had a training montage! The only thing it was missing was inspirational music.
otakutaylor: Another good comic from you! Your knowledge of anatomy seems to be pretty decent - I would take some time to focus on faces if I were you, as I felt a few of them were a little off-putting. All in all, though, it's a nice little piece. Tsumi is an excellent role-model for young girls everywhere!
nine: Wow. Your traditional work is much stronger than your digital, and I really think you should stick with it. I think it looks great. Plus, your comic had a training montage! The only thing it was missing was inspirational music.
otakutaylor: Another good comic from you! Your knowledge of anatomy seems to be pretty decent - I would take some time to focus on faces if I were you, as I felt a few of them were a little off-putting. All in all, though, it's a nice little piece. Tsumi is an excellent role-model for young girls everywhere!
# 12
Posted:
Apr 25 2012, 12:43 PM
Tsumi's such a sweetie in both comics!
Nine, I like what you're doing with the inks. Keep doin' em, and tighten up on that brushwork. You bleed a bit here and there, and sometimes it works (like with the letter) but sometimes it doesn't.
Otakutaylor, I feel like this comic ended a bit abruptly, but it's still drawn fairly well and you're managing to keep the same level of output that your last comic had. Keep it up!
Nine, I like what you're doing with the inks. Keep doin' em, and tighten up on that brushwork. You bleed a bit here and there, and sometimes it works (like with the letter) but sometimes it doesn't.
Otakutaylor, I feel like this comic ended a bit abruptly, but it's still drawn fairly well and you're managing to keep the same level of output that your last comic had. Keep it up!
# 11
Posted:
Apr 25 2012, 10:11 AM
I don't think I can believe the am mount of coincidence between our two comics. As if no other better story could be told. Hehe.
Your comic is magnificent Ninemafia. It put a smile on my face and It'll be stuck there all day.
Your comic is magnificent Ninemafia. It put a smile on my face and It'll be stuck there all day.
# 10
Posted:
Apr 24 2012, 12:37 PM
Sorry in advance for the quality of most of the pages. The top part of the scanner that presses down the paper was kinda wobbly, so they're not as clear as they could be, but I fixed it mostly with PS!
# 9
Posted:
Apr 24 2012, 05:35 AM
Got mine in too! Now we play the waiting game.
# 8
Posted:
Apr 23 2012, 02:29 PM
Just wanted to say everything's uploaded on my end! Good luck to otakutaylor!
# 7
Posted:
Apr 20 2012, 01:08 AM
Whoa now cowboys, Otis vs Starker already holds dibs on arm wrestling conflict. Don't make me get an embargo on yo asses.
Or should I say
an embARMgo.
(I'm so sorry for that)
Anyways, draw it up somethin' fine, you two. I'll be waitin' to drop them critiques 'n' stuff.
Or should I say
an embARMgo.
(I'm so sorry for that)
Anyways, draw it up somethin' fine, you two. I'll be waitin' to drop them critiques 'n' stuff.
# 6
Posted:
Apr 20 2012, 12:33 AM
Fed: Surely this one has to be resolved by arm-wrestling?
Quote
# 5
Posted:
Apr 19 2012, 12:52 PM
Surely this one has to be resolved by arm-wrestling?
# 4
Posted:
Apr 19 2012, 11:19 AM
This match is going to make me sad! I really like both these characters! Good luck to both of you!
# 3
Posted:
Apr 19 2012, 08:47 AM
I can only say the same about Tsumi. I'm not used to drawing so much...MUSCULATURE haha.
# 2
Posted:
Apr 19 2012, 12:04 AM
I can't wait to see~~~ the anticipation is driving me nuts! I hope I can do Bhindi some justice.
# 1
Posted:
Apr 17 2012, 05:20 AM
Best luck to both of us!
Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Apr 29th, 2012
Votes Cast:
38
Page Views:
2036
Winner:
ninemafia
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Artist
Otakutaylor, i think you need to work on your perspective some. Take a look at that first page. The alley's horizon seems real low but things like the dumpster don't feel like they match up with that. Also, at the same time, the way the characters foreshorten sometimes is a little offputting, like your character's footing in that same panel. Same kind of goes for the low shots on the last page. The buildings go one way but your character doesn't quite match it. Observation & practice would help that.
Also that's a metricshitton of dialogue in a short amount of story. And it seemed like you were trying to cram it into as few balloons as you possibly could. Like the 'Ow quit it' on pg 3 could've been split from the 'stop struggling...' On the forums, there's a tutorial for making balloons, give it a look over, & don't be afraid of splitting things up & cherrypicking the wording to reduce novel length blocks.