Yaz-definitely want to see you do something with a longer deadline because while your characters look nice here, the total lack of backgrounds really hurt you.

Fed-very nice! One thing to watch out for is your panel placement. On that first page I kept reading the first 3 panels out of order because I was reading up down right down because of the way you lined the panels up.

Yaz - Definitely knock out some backgrounds next time, even just some suggestive detail, i.e. rocks, patches of grass around the character's feet etc if you're running out of time, it will give a better context for what's happening. Also you seemed to struggle with legs and perspective in some areas, for example in the very first panel Ted appears to be on flat ground, while the horse is sloped forward. Backgrounds may fix this. Can't wait to see what you can do with a long deadline.

Fed - Good story, your characters are really old-school charming (also, the mustaches ). The panels where you have used thick lines in the foreground to show depth really pop, I think my least favourite panels are the conversation between Ted and Leema though, the shifting around of viewpoint is a bit jarring -  it's almost not enough change? I would do something with scale also, or completely change the viewpoint, put it behind them, etc. Imagine a film shot when you're doing a conversation.

i´ll make sure i´ll give you guys my best in my next comic. i hope it will be the beyond battle i already scripted...

joe yeah i know what you mean and thanks... in this style the effect wouldn´t have been popin... but this level of uncompleteness wasn´t intended.

Yaz:
Try using something to make it all POP a bit more. Its quite flat looking and undynamic, I'd try some stronger blacks, or attempts at shading. Must say the pacing was pretty good, didn't even notice I was reading a comic actually, had a really nice flow, apart from when certain panels just didn't make sense. e.g. that thing on the floor beneaths Ted's feet, is the horse weeing.

Fed:
The style you have going right now reminds me almost of an animation, almost Wallace and Gromit like. This isn't a criticism btw, I was just intrigued by it, and thought maybe you should play to this. Mybe thats why Gibbo found it nostalgic. I think very acrobatic, gung ho, violent over the top stuff would really work for you.

You both ran out of time, and that's ok. You have all the time in the world to hone your skills. Try some more battles with longer deadlines.

Yaz: It's okay, I know it's hard. Your do nice faces, but you need backgrounds. You had a good start with the plot. Just keep on trucking and practicing.

Fed: Since you've signed up, I've always thought your character and style are intensely charming. I do think you should work on filling in your backgrounds on stuff like the last page, and developing your crosshatching. It's a little sloppy and needs tightened up.

Wow, thanks for the feedback people! Glad you all seemed to like it, lettering-courses and an introduction to perspective is on the agenda!

As for the final throw-down.. though the last page was supposed to be so much more, featuring more characters (perhaps I'll redo it one day and put it in the fan-art section as Tinman suggested), the ACTUAL fight was never supposed to be shown, for the simple reason that Leema would've kicked Teds ass with little to no effort (as Yaz' comic proves). So the ending shown is the way it is supposed to end, just before all hell breaks loose.. leaving it up to the reader to decide who would win the ensuing fight

Thanks for the hard fight Yaz, your character really proved a challenge.. Sorry I had to work around the "established" story somewhat to make Leema and Ted come together.. Looking at your work, perhaps I should be grateful you went snowboarding and had even less time than me or my butt will be kicked for sure As it stands it is still neck-and-neck.. don't take nothing for granted

Hope we can fight again some other day, perhaps with more time to spare

Two characters I was definitely keen to see in action!

Yaz: Your character illustrations and expressions look excellent! Agreed with other reviews that you could have done with some backgrounds to help set the scene - not in every frame but a few choice ones like drawing the park for frame 5 would just help picture the scene better. The ending felt a bit abrupt but totally understandable considering the time limit.

Fed: Your comics evoke a sense of nostalgia though I can't quite put my finger on why. It's a great style and the cameos were a nice touch. Very unexpected choice of drink in a dusty 'ol saloon but kinda fits because of it. Would like to have seen the actual throw-down at the end, imagine time was the issue there though.

Thanks for all the critques there
I´m quiet reliefed you guys mentioned the things i was aware of.
Thus the lack of backgrounds i would have loved to avoid since i´m aware how floating the effect is without. I plan to make sure the next comics are complete in this matter.
the anatomy... well my style is quiet naturalistic and working from a catoon reference gives a lot of room for interpretation. im sorry for the wonky showups of Ted. I guess i messed him up due to time problems and my own struggle with how to draw him considering proportions and posture.

Either way i´m happy i got you as an opponent Fed. It was a hard matchup but therefore we both were forced to look beyond our artistic borders.

Horses are awesome. I loved to draw Gertrude but well cowboyhats are one of the hardest things i had to draw for a while... burn in hell cowboyhats D:

what i learned from this is definitive... i don´t know yet what medium and workflow i want to go with so far. pure inks aren´t my strength,  so i will give the digital works another chance possibly


Thanks guys and especially Fed!

Yaz: Your realism is amazing, even if the anatomy isn't perfect - it's a little stiff, but still really fluid compared to some other works I've seen with this sort of level. Would have loved to see what you could do with more time in regards to backgrounds, etc.!

Fed: Yeah you're definitely on my hitlist if we don't get to fight in the Invitational, haha (love Johnny's camo, among the others). Other people have mentioned perspective and stuff so I don't really have anything more to add.

I'd just like to say, I love Fed's cartoony style with the passion of a thousand suns.

Its curious how so many entrants have similar approaches to story telling premise- as seems to be the case here.  
I LOOOVE ME SOME WESTERNS!

Yaz- Quite good pages from you- superb anatomy as usual and even your horse, (which is a complex pile of muscles) looks solid. Your vacant backgrounds are a bit jarring in contrast to the nicely rendered and detailed characters but it's merely something to embellish otherwise great framing and storytelling. Overall I'm impressed you cranked out so much in such a short amount of time. Keep up the good work with your Telekinetic Mystery Miss.


Fed- Charming cartoony style and oodles of cameos- quite cool sense of place you've established in minimal pages. I felt the fight could have been extended  as it seems you intended to fill that final splash page with a far greater number of barroom brawling hooligans but the vacancy is a void indeed. Fill that page out and Fan Art Thread that bad boy.

Fed! Great entry! I like the storytelling and the western look. All these cameos and settings youve included. i think thats are my favourite parts. leema is quiet out of character there but its hard to handle her without reference or better descriptions. i still like what you did here, a lot! i look forward to your next battles

Both of these entries were pretty nice.

Yaz, I really like the detail of your faces. And that horse was friggin' amazingly drawn. Still, I would like to see some improvement in your human anatomy. Sloth mentioned the consistency but I'm more concerned with how his hand/arm was drawn in the last panel of the last page. And aside from the floating characters, I liked it.

I was liking yours a lot Fed. Your style reminds me of old school newspaper funnies, and I'm diggin it. I'm with Sloth as far as my nitpicking is concerned.

Can't wait to see more from you guys!

This is gonna be a close match, for sure.

My main issue with Yaz's work is maintaining continuity in the character designs throughout the comic. Every drawing of Ted could be a different character, you know?

Perspective throughout Fed's work is wacky, but I can't decide if it bothers me or just gels really well with the style.

That aside, I did enjoy both comics! Keep it up, guys.

Yes, I do - It was just bad timing that I spent this weekend at home with access to a poor scanner. Thanks for the feedback, I'll go practice my lettering (and perspective - Thanks slothvert)

Yaz, I can see your submission was really going somewhere. Your perspective and anatomy are solid, but the backgrounds are minimal and without toning the characters seem to be floating. One week deadlines are tough, especially when they happen to encompass a holiday weekend. With a little clean-up and polish, I think you could be producing some brilliant stuff.
Great work on (Gertrude?) the horse, by the by. She must have been a tough figure to wrangle, but she looks great!

Fed, the cameos were a nice touch. I like how this employed continuity with your intro story, and your movie-trope writing style continues to entertain. It's a pity the scanner you had access to scuffled up your pages the way they did! I hope you have a way to address that issue in the future. The only other gripe I have with your work is your lettering. I love the fact that you're doing it by hand, but consider using a guide next time to improve legibility.

Overall, that was a great fight and you both had a great showing. Stick around, both of ya!

Whew, made it with a few hours to spare.. if there's a lesson to be learned to next time it's to complete stuff as soon as possible instead of waiting - The last pages were a bit rushed :\

Sorry I couldn't write a better story for Leema Yaz, she is a hard character to get to grasp with and especially when faced with a cowboy with no purpose.. hope you like it still

Also I had to use my moms scanner, not very good, some of the pages look a bit "dirty".. tried to fix it with levels in PS, but.. oh, well..

ok uploaded. 3 pages :/
they are not finished to completeness but i don´t have time since i´m away for the rest of the time. just imagine everything else like it would have been drawn

WELCOME BACK MR.YAZ.

GOOD LUCK FED.

Yes Sir!

also have fun Fed! I look forward to your stuff

YES SIR!

DRAW!