FIGHT LIFE / ironlion82

FIGHT LIFE — ironlion82

ironlion82
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PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1394 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 18 2012, 06:59 PM
AAAAH that explains alot then, doesn't it. :)

Charlie
Artist
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725 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 18 2012, 06:33 PM
I do believe that inquiries about having it be a webcomic would need to be directed to Toast.

Cracking Skulls
Global Moderator
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344 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 18 2012, 06:32 PM
ironlion82: I was tryin to do the web comic thing. Didn't know how to load it that way.
Quote

In this case, you  have to ask angie or any other admin about the webcomic option before uploading it as a beyond battle, as the webcomic section isn't available in the manager section right now.

ironlion82
Artist
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12 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 18 2012, 06:13 PM
I was tryin to do the web comic thing. Didn't know how to load it that way.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1394 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 17 2012, 09:55 PM
hum.. you probably should have just put in an extra 4 chapters if each page happens to be one.

2 notes:

-I wouldn't call the relationship of predator and prey a cycle in the context of a high school.. and, you are essentially repeating the last bit "there is a foodchain, some are higher, some are lower". Heck, you probably don't even need to add the second half of that sentence because we know what a foodchain means, especially in terms of a high school. I would rework the entire narration of that page. It might be more compelling if the protagonist is narrating. He could say something such as:
panel 2: "for me, and for most kids my age, high school's a jungle." "There's a foodchain that we all follow.."
panel 3 (the bully grabbing his collar) "guess where I fit in that food chain.."
Something like this more cleanly conveys to the audience that the story is about this boy, rather than the omnipotent narrator version. And speaking of the protagonist..

-Aside from the figures way back in the background, he is the least well-drawn of the characters shown, on BOTH pages. I am assuming those purple shiny growths on his head in page one are meant to be bruises.. but they are too purple and perfectly round, they look more like some very unfortunate genetic disease, or alien eyeballs. Kudos for trying to use traditional medium, though.  And in the 2nd page, he doesn't look unhappy that he's about to be hit. He looks blase, even smarmy, like he's about to go Groucho Marx or Rodney Dangerfield right before he's punched. "hey pal, if ya gotta show me the punchline, the joke's a dud! *ba-dum PSH*"

As has been said, as far as sequential art goes, this isn't much of a sequence, it's more of a teaser, like, this should have been posted up in the Battle Hype page rather than here. 'Hope to see a better effort in your next comic, because this is unfortunately a big step down from your last venture.


Charlie
Artist
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725 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 17 2012, 09:01 PM
There is barely even any comic here at all. Sorry man but...there is a lot wrong here.

One - For starters you have this listed as a chapter 1. Is chapter 1 really going to be just one page? Because that is an awfully short chapter my friend.

Two - the font is terrible. Go to blambot or something and find a better, more comic friendly font. Not that it matters because in this case the word bubbles and the really rough looking inks (and is that pencils I still see there too) make it really clash with the digital stuff that you'd have almost been better of doing all the text by hand.

Three - The perspective is way off in all those...backgrounds. The other thing I noticed is who's hand is that on the girl in the second panel, because it is extremely gigantic!! I'd also watch your faces because there is all kinds of funky business going on there.

Four - Watch your words. "And the will always be the cycle"

Five - Next time more content, more polish. I think you probably spent more time on the synopsis than the actual comic amigo.

Which is bad.

Cracking Skulls
Global Moderator
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344 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 17 2012, 08:54 PM
Uhm...what?


I kind of expected more from this...especially since you went ahead and put up a description for this comic. What is this? I really can't even vote or critique this at all, since it's just one page of nothing.

ironlion82
Artist
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12 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 17 2012, 09:24 AM
Andy Martin is an ordinary high school student. He doesn't get to spend his days the way most teenagers do since he spends most of his time outside the classroom working at his father’s scrap yard.  A constant target of bullying from both his fellow students and his father, Andy's life is one daily stuggle after another. But a chance encounter with one of his tormentors will change his life forever….

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 24th, 2012
Votes Cast: 12
Page Views: 352

 

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