Intro Story / Fear
Critiques & Comments
# 4
Posted:
Nov 4 2011, 11:26 PM
Thank you for the comments. I promise that the actual battles will be of higher caliber.
# 3
Posted:
Nov 4 2011, 11:05 PM
I really like his design. The beard/hair with the eyes looks really striking. Likewise, I like the grays + colors thing you've been doing lately.
I've noticed you sometimes use a wall of text and place it so that it just fills the bottom or top chunk of a panel. Page 03 is the most glaring example. The first panel is fine, but the text on the second one is just this massive block that looks like it cuts off the bottom of the panel. It messes up the flow of the comic and doesn't look very good. I think breaking up the text in separate boxes or cutting down your word count would help. And I think an establishing shot in the first page of the abandoned highway would have set the mood better - rather than describing what you won't show us.
I've noticed you sometimes use a wall of text and place it so that it just fills the bottom or top chunk of a panel. Page 03 is the most glaring example. The first panel is fine, but the text on the second one is just this massive block that looks like it cuts off the bottom of the panel. It messes up the flow of the comic and doesn't look very good. I think breaking up the text in separate boxes or cutting down your word count would help. And I think an establishing shot in the first page of the abandoned highway would have set the mood better - rather than describing what you won't show us.
# 2
Posted:
Nov 4 2011, 03:53 PM
Certainly does look interesting, though the intro story makes it seem like "Miller's Fear" is not the guy, but the situation.
One technical note -- at the bottom of page 2, you've stacked panels on the left. When you do that, you have to be extra careful to use your compositional elements to direct the reader downward to the next panel, rather than to the right. Panel 5 has a horizontal composition, as well as a caption that leads you right into the caption in panel 7, which made me miss panel 6 initially. It's not something you can't figure out when you're reading it, but it's distracting enough to break the spell.
Anyway, looking good!
One technical note -- at the bottom of page 2, you've stacked panels on the left. When you do that, you have to be extra careful to use your compositional elements to direct the reader downward to the next panel, rather than to the right. Panel 5 has a horizontal composition, as well as a caption that leads you right into the caption in panel 7, which made me miss panel 6 initially. It's not something you can't figure out when you're reading it, but it's distracting enough to break the spell.
Anyway, looking good!
# 1
Posted:
Nov 4 2011, 03:32 PM
very interesting
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Nov 11th, 2011
Votes Cast:
13
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