Trix vs. Boek
Critiques & Comments
# 9
Posted:
Nov 29 2010, 06:47 PM
Cherubas, everything needs to be tighter. Next time around, really take time to layout your pages. It feels like this comic was made on the go.
# 8
Posted:
Nov 25 2010, 02:50 PM
Unfortunately, you're right. I did not utilize my time to the fullest. I'm going to try a little harder with my next battle. I suppose I didn't make it clear enough, but Trix brings the gun. She presses it to Boek's cheek in the beginning and Boek's power allows him to teleport people or, in this case, objects with him if he's in physical contact with them, so he disarms her by teleporting. The same gun is later used by him. This was kind of an experimental thing and I'm still gauging whether Boek will stay on his meds or not. Kind of a trial run deal based on fan reaction, like Jason Todd.
# 7
Posted:
Nov 24 2010, 09:13 PM
Defaults make me sad inside.
Anyway, nice job I guess. For some reason this doesn't quite feel as tight as your invitational entries, and I can't really pinpoint as to why exactly, it just feels sorta sloppier. There is some improvements in the drawings here and there but it almost doesn't really look like you utilized the 3 weeks to the full? The comic was pretty entertaining, but the whole random gun out of nowhere kind of threw me off.
But it was rather nice to see Boek with a different side to him, I gotta say I didn't really expect it. Some of the writing was pretty nice too when regarding the pills and all.
Keep it up man.
Anyway, nice job I guess. For some reason this doesn't quite feel as tight as your invitational entries, and I can't really pinpoint as to why exactly, it just feels sorta sloppier. There is some improvements in the drawings here and there but it almost doesn't really look like you utilized the 3 weeks to the full? The comic was pretty entertaining, but the whole random gun out of nowhere kind of threw me off.
But it was rather nice to see Boek with a different side to him, I gotta say I didn't really expect it. Some of the writing was pretty nice too when regarding the pills and all.
Keep it up man.
# 6
Posted:
Nov 24 2010, 08:49 PM
Holy shit :O
You get extra points in entertainment for making me say that! I can't wait to see what happens next~
You get extra points in entertainment for making me say that! I can't wait to see what happens next~
# 5
Posted:
Nov 24 2010, 08:24 PM
Interesting to see this new dark side of Boek.
# 4
Posted:
Nov 19 2010, 07:22 AM
Nice to see two invitationals back for more
# 3
Posted:
Oct 29 2010, 09:47 PM
Looking forward to this! Good luck you two!
# 2
Posted:
Oct 28 2010, 08:09 PM
Oh yeah.
# 1
Posted:
Oct 28 2010, 12:47 PM
Good luck, you two!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
3 weeks + 1
Ended:
Nov 30th, 2010
Votes Cast:
16
Page Views:
1513
Winner:
Cherubas
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Artist
Cherubas: Hey, nice to see you're continuing to battle.
I really liked the different side of Boek. This story was really interesting to read. I like the angle of a more bitter/growing-up Boek, it's interesting.
The art is choppy. You need to get a stronger grip on whatever it is you're making these comics, because the line art is inconsistent and rough looking. Your people also could use a lot of work for different face angles, such as Boek looking down at the gun. You also should give some practice to drawing a gun, because the one in the comic looked a little more like a water pistol or a toy.
I think for readabilities' sake, perhaps Boek should leave behind a trail of smoke, like Nightcrawler does when he teleports. The sound is a good step, but it doesn't give enough of a visual cue. And the jump from emptiness to suddenly a gun at his face is kind of disconcerting. I think more people walking along the city or perhaps a view of Trix walking by would have helped. I don't think your impact of gun to the face would have been lost either, since we have no indication in his speech that such a thing would happen.
This was a step up for story I think, but your art has a lot of room for improvement. But, I have faith you'll improve. Keep it up and good luck on your next comic.