Heck yeah send them my way... and remember when you do your thumbs and rough layouts don't be afraid to try those camera angles you've got nothing to lose when you are laying down roughs.

Well hopefully the little guide you wrote up will help me out on that issue. I'm working on another BB right now so I might toss some of the pages your way to see if I got the perspective down okay. Thanks!

Hey Again Angie,

   So I know we talked a bit about your perspective issues and I'm glad you recognize your fear.... But you need to face it head on and I mean with baby steps but you need to meet it head on and let your fear be your strength... And no disrespect Luna but Angie's only real perspectives are as follows

Pg.6 Panel 3, (no vanishing point ), Pg9 pnl 3 ( no horizon line, no vanishing point), Page 10 Pnl 4 ( look at the side walk, see where the section divide, the points farthest away should be trying to intersect somewhere in the distance not get farther apart), Pg. 11 pnl 1 (nice try at eyeballing it but the lines aren't meeting at a vanishing point.) Pg15 pnl 3 (same) Page 17 pnl 4(muy malo) pnl5 (same), pg 21 pnl 1 ( Three point perspective, except the shoulders should be angled to a horizon line) pnl 3 (needs a three point perspective), Pg 22 pnl 4 ( Birds eye views almost mandate 3 pt. perspective)

Everything else is basically atmosphere. Every building has no horizon-line nor any vanishing points... basically two dimensional straight up cardboard cut outs facing the audience. It works but you are Playing it safe.... too safe get risky, all you can do is fail, and hopefully learn from it.

And before anyone gets the Idea I'm nit picking and bashing Angie, this is just my way of throwing ice cold water over her head to wake her up.... Stop B-esing your way through it! You are damn smart... stop avoiding it and learn it... it'll only benifit you in the long run .... i also think that it'll help your body structure,,, once you draw them in perspective too.

Sorry if this came off as harsh but I have nothing but love and respect for you and your art, just trying to help you improve. Pm me and we'll talk dividing in perspective... give me a couple of days there is this BB i need to finish up...laugh...

Storytelling i have no real critiques i enjoy how you get me emotionally pulled in... you remind me of a young Terry moore.

Have a great weekend everyone.

I do have to agree with ROFL about the pants everyone has really long legs, loose pants and tiny heads. I think you already know that your drawings is still wonky all over the place. My biggest gripe is that you are completely avoiding perspective drawing. You do twenty four pages and none of them make any use of a vanishing point. None. I think you should at least understand perspective and not run from it. I really would like to see you use more sophisticated color schemes. Everything in the comic is just shades of reds, maybe experiment with some greens or something.

storywise, I was hanging on until P2 got shot. Maybe I have just done too much research on actual combat but their reactions were very unrealistic and that really killed any emotional connection I had once Angie got shot.

I love the lighting in this comic. it helps give the story a very real sense of timing, since that kind of lighting doesn't stay consistent for too long at sunset.

This was a real treat to read! I really liked your intro pages with the set up of panels.
Great coloring and a nice variety of perspectives!
I really am not one to pointing out any faults.. especially if nothing really stuck out!
Story-wise, you've caught my interest. And with that said, success!

A long wait and it was worth it! I'm always a fan of your panel layouts and it keeps my eyes fixated on them.  You definitely know how to work people up to where they WANT to sit and wait for the comic with all your little teases. You.. you little tease!

At the moment, I'm not seeing what people mean by you "shortening" people's heads because a lot of the time you are using hella monda perspective shots. I DO see where they'd say you use a lot of oranges and reds, but everyone has their tonal range that they enjoy (mine are blues and reds!). Given that this takes place during a certain time in the day, I guess that explains that. You HAVE shown us you use other colors before.

ANYWAYS, one thing I will mention that will be mondo helpful to you.
Your word bubbles tend to be cramped with the letters. Something my brother taught me was that when you have more space around the edges and the words, people's eyes read them a bit better. (Not TOO much space, but take a look at my last comic and you'll get the idea) Words too close to the edge don't read as well.
The other thing I have to say is to work on your human noses a bit. At least your frontal and 3/4 shot views. Sometimes, especially on P2 you don't put a lot of details/depth on them so they appear as little dots and knobs on their faces. I would either give them more detail or shade them a bit more.

That's really all I got to say honestly.
Anything other than that would be ... I friggin LOVE how you did that blaster ray. It makes my eyes feel like they are having an orgasm!

(also, thank you for giving me a heads up it was submitted!)

 

Ya see...NOW the BB is easier to make. All this damn secrecy!
Nice work.
Extended review will follow as soon i don't have to pretend i'm working everytime the boss passes by.

All I have to add is that I feel P2's build is too small.  Needs more protein.

I don't know everyone is outfitted with massive MC Hammer pants here, but those are some big legs fitting in those. You also have a nasty habit of shortening people's skulls or giving them misshapen heads. You need to work on some more head/leg studies, because people are too big in some spots or too small in others.

I also have no clue what you're doing with Angie's face. Sometimes you go more animal and sometimes it's more human with a 'cat-nose'.

Your colors are fine, although I could have done with different ones after a point.

What can be said? There's so much 'great work' that the 'needs work' can be hard to find.

I would look out for those overhead shots; the panel at the top left of page 11 had real wonky perspective. Fortunately it didn't seem to carry into other similar shots in your comic.

I really dug this, I loved the way it looked and I found the story to be alright to me =O! Good job . I cannot wait to see the rest of your battles you have lined up!

Thanks! Well I think Qyz nailed most of it anyways haha

Really solid work. Expressive stuff with good coloring and interesting panel layouts. Can't really give any solid critiques since I would have mentioned them when angie was writing them.

That's okay, I don't really like this comic very much anymore haha so I'm alright with people not liking the story. I just honestly wanted to be done with it since after Felle put off the battle for so long I didn't have it in me to put a ton of polish on the story since my heart was no longer in it and I just wanted to get what I'd planned out of the way.

I do however disagree with you about the colors since I'm still happy with the selection I had chosen.

Yes, you can color quite well. But I'll be the first dick of the day and say that I was pretty bored reading through it. Sorry, I can't specifically say why, it just really didn't hold my interest. Your lineart isn't consistent, it either looks good, or looks wonky to me. Your panel to panel compositions are the same way. Also, while your application of color is good, I feel like I'm ODing on reds and oranges and yellows. there's not enough of a change in colors. needs a nice complimentary color to really make the focal points pop. I know you have some purples here and there, which is nice, but with the amount of orange in this comic, I think some darker, somewhat unsaturated blues would really help A LOT.

If you've read Sky Doll, it's done quite well in there. There are quite a few scenes with deep, teal mood lighting, and it's always complimented well with pink.

Still, good job.

My original plan was for this to go up simultaneously with the battle vs. Corry but Mrnouitall got an extension. He should have his comic in Monday I hope. But I am still honoring this deadline so expect to see it up tomorrow night

*bounces bounces bounces gleeee* can't wait!

Finished and uploaded! This won't go up until the Corry battle does though.

haha well it won't be BIG kitty, that's getting busted out when I battle you

EVEN BETTER

Oh snap I want this now

Well I can't promise dancing kittens but I can promise a big kitty with horns.

8D 8D 8D!!!!

Dance kittens dance.

I've got anticipation ants in my pants.

haha I'll try! There is something that might do it, we'll see.

You better make me cry.

Oh shit!

haha well don't blame Felle, he's really dealing with a lot of stuff right now. I didn't really want his promise to battle me being something hanging over him when he has more important things to be dealing with at the moment. I just couldn't wait any longer since things are getting serious on the pro coloring front for me so I needed to knock this out while I had a little extra free time since one of my jobs are finishing up right now.

And btw this comic is going to be over the top dramatic! I REGRET NOTHING! hahaha I read lots of shoujo in preparations for this. There is going to be at least one page where it feels like where in shoujo anime they do that freeze frame watercolor shit. I love that kind of stuff, surely someone or well, everyone might roll their eyes at this comic but it's all good since it's gonna be a blast to make haha

Darn that Felle!

The deadline for this isn't set in stone, I'm supposed to be starting up a battle with Mrnoitaull in about a week or so and I want this to be due the same day as that comic so the deadline will be changed to whatever the deadline for that battle is.

But pretty much the story behind this is I was supposed to fight Felle and I was waiting for him to be ready, this battle was to happen immediately after Arma. But Felle is a daddy now and he's dealing with a lot and things are starting to pick up for me professionally (talking to some publishers right now ) so I wanted to get things moving along with Angie's story while I can. Sadly it is extremely unlikely I'll ever get to battle Felle so this comic is going to be what I was going to do against him.

So for people that were like ultra excited about me battling, worry not as I will be doing this at the same time as battling Mrnoitaull. Since I'm doing a lot of professional coloring right now I'll probably have a lot more BBs on the way instead of battles but at this point I just really want to be able to finish Angie's story so that's cool with me. One thing that is going to be exciting is doing this comic and the Corry comic in drastically different styles and they'll both have different tones which should make for a fun challenge beyond just doing 2 comics at once.