I'm actually doing just that now that I finished copying down a whole anatomy book, I got quite a collection thanks to my affinity for Udon's Street Fighter Comics. And I got a few others plus my manga collection.

On the other hand, you need to take your time and slow down. You don't HAVE to do digital, you just need to be less in a rush and working harder with a little more care on your pages, PsychoSean.

Coatl: I honestly recommend just looking up any action comics you like and studying them. The only way you'll improve besides practice is emulation and seeing what works on paper already. From there, let your mind expand, but try out those shots you like.

Seeing as Arena is a supporting cast member in both of these comics, I have almost an obligation to critique XD

Psycho Sean, you NEED to give your pages some kind of digital correction, they simply can't stand alone without it. There are even some times when the scan seemed off and missed something. Page 2 confuses me: Why does Sonny protest against Yui entering the dojo? Does he know that there's a monster inside? Why is he on the roof contemplating, then? Page 6: The dialogue at the bottom is a complete mess, I'm still not sure which bubble goes first because they're all clumped together, and in the space of two panels. You can never go wrong with positioning bubbles in a diagonal descending order from left to right if you can't get other variations down. I had thought this was gonna be a 2-part collaboration between you two since you left your comic in a cliff hanger, but it seems that wasn't the case.  A pity, I would have liked to see what happened next. Despite this and some anatomy issues, you actually have a good grasp of action.

I'm not a fan of the style but I appreciate trying a different kind of look from what most have.

Coatl: Your comic is frustrating because there are so many amazing shots marred by some very poor ones. Page 2 (after the prologue font) is excellent, and I know very few artists who understand how to use the swift line action that you display at the bottom of that panel. Keep up with that, every time you use it it seems to come out great! I feel contrary to what others thing; your close-ups are great and I think the best show of your skills in this comic. Some comic artists are afraid to use too many close-ups because it can seem cluttered if not done right, but you seem to have a grasp of MCU/CU sensibilities that make close-ups in film so appealing, and while a handful of artists (myself included) find it harder to draw larger and closer as opposed to further back, you seem to have the opposite problem: Your closeups are great, but when we start panning out your art begins to falter in a big way, like at the tops of page 4 and 6, and the majority of pages 8 and 9. It seems that your biggest problem to me is clothing. You don't seem to have a firm grasp on how to use it and move it. Ironically, it's most evident in your close-ups, and even more ironically, Sonny's clothing has the most problems.

You've got close-ups and some action downpat, Now work on the other elements

Self Critique time.
Things I learned before I even had this on void.
Studyfights for a better understanding.
Don't lose important thumbnails (some which emphasized the atmosphere a bit better,
Less is more: dont add too many patterns and stuff during dark scenes
Threshold: make sure to merge that layer adjustment before shrinking it.

Lefred: yeah the look on page for was kinda on purpose but I guess the humor was lost, Also I was using 005 pens for sonny on that panel and I learned that I need to get a better feel for them.

Colin Abel: this was legitamely my first fight scene, I thought it looked alright in the thumbnails but I should have preped my pages alot better because I was translating layouts form one size to a smaller size and I thought I could just squeeze it in. I obviously saw the consequences in there

I used indypimp, it's found on 1001fonts.com


yeah thanks, I really appreciate it. I should have shown more atmosphere but I'll study fights in comics to make sure I don't repeat that mistake.
The pixelation actually occured because the I set my lines on a layer adjested threshold and when it shrank I forgot to merge the layers so I really hate that the ending looked that way but I learned my lesson there.

Dan, I loved you comics, I just kept rolling.
I loved that you can stretch characteristics to such extremes.
I do feel like you shoulda kept your work cloean. Try massing with brightness and contrast.Also I recommend some oval templates for your word bubbles, but that's all on you.

All I gots to say iiiiiis good job to you both!

Coatl, what font did you use for your dialogue? I love it!  

/me font whore

DoodleDan: You seriously need to make a middle point for these characters. Having an extreme or silly face each page isn't a really good way to go about things. You lose out on the impact made by the extreme or silly face by having no ground or starting point. And not just faces, but you need to rope in your bodies too. The anatomy in them is just all over the place. Please, slow down and work on your faces and work on your anatomy. It's going to help you in the long run.

I see you're willing to do, but you need to slow down and boost the quality. These pencils are so sketchy and messy compared to what you can do and did do in your design sheet. If you ever want any help or anything on this, feel free to ask me. I'll be glad to help.

Coatl: You started out strong, but that switch to MSPaint or something at the end really dropped me. I could have done with more backgrounds there too. The 'funny' close-ups aren't too funny when used like 2 - 3 times a page. All-in-all, you did a good job though. Please, keep at it.

DoodleDan: You seriously need to make a middle point for these characters. Having an extreme or silly face each page isn't a really good way to go about things. You lose out on the impact made by the extreme or silly face by having no ground or starting point. And not just faces, but you need to rope in your bodies too. The anatomy in them is just all over the place. Please, slow down and work on your faces and work on your anatomy. It's going to help you in the long run.

I see you're willing to do, but you need to slow down and boost the quality. These pencils are so sketchy and messy compared to what you can do a. If you ever want any help or anything on this, feel free to

Alright you two, crit time.

Doodle: I am not a fan of your style, BUT I don't dislike it. I remember some previous illustrations you did on the forums I enjoyed, but what I see in your comics doesn't do it for me. BUT, style alone is just preference. I think you need to work on composition and use of contrast a lot more if you stick with this style, because right now everything feels really cluttered and hard to read. Also, the grey paper or whatever really weakens your comic. It really dulls down any contrast you might have had, and ultimately makes things even MORE hard to read. Though please, do keep doing comics. I feel you can put out some good stuff with some work and persistence.

Coatl: Your comic looked nice in the beginning, despite some smudges or whatever (no biggie) but obviously toward the end it kinda petered out. I could have used some more backgrounds. Like, third page in, you establish visually that it's in a convenience store... but after that page, i forgot where they were. If you just have one page with nice backgrounds that really stand out to the reader, then you can do what you do and get away with a lack of backgrounds for a while (to a certain extent, of course) . Also, please zoom out the camera a bit from time to time. everything was really close, and it felt like it kept getting closer and closer. Don't be afraid to zoom out, it's a good way to let the reader take a breather from the action before you throw them right back in.

Keep making comics, you two, and keep on improving. good job

Sean, I like the way you make everything more... "monstruous". But damn, you are way too messy, it's all over the place and hard to read. On the topic of reading, work on that handwritting, give some time and love to the letters, there were several balloons I couldnt read at all.

Coatl, watch out for consistency in what you make. A panel will look very good, then the next will look like crap (sonny at the top of page 4, what the hell, man?) things like that hurt the pacing, so try to give equal loving the whole time.

Sorry for the delay, I was going to put this up last night but I had to a question for Toast about this which he never got back to me on so I just went ahead and put it up.

The culprit that was breaking your uploads was you were saving at maximum quality Psycho Sean, just save it as high and your files will be manageable in size without sacrificing quality.

:O

alright, sent them to toast. should be fun

Psycho Sean had technical problems, I told him to send his pages to Toast.

submitted, critics, tear me a new one cause I want to see what  need work on!

inks ready, couldnt get the first page done but I will add a summary of what happened before the battle

7 pages layed out ready to ink!

give it your all you two!

One page finally inked, let's see how this goes.

Just reviewing my initial thumbnails. This is gonna be fun.

what RoflQu said, good luck XD

Hey, glad to see you both in the ring again! Let's see a good fight!