Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Sammy Bertchwood vs. Nideras

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 — Sammy Bertchwood vs. Nideras

710 points
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694 points
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Critiques & Comments
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# 18   Posted: Aug 5 2010, 09:09 PM
Rek- I liked use of green for your shading, it's always good to step out of the norm, but the graininess is a bit distracting. Cute ending however.

Valravn- Great artwork, but I felt it was lacking in a solid plot.

# 17   Posted: Aug 5 2010, 08:28 PM
@Fowlie: Ok thanks! I'll be sure too keep that in mind especially with the whole hair situation. :D

@Kuro: Thanks for your critique! I'll keep those in mind as well! Yea...I do need to work on my perspective. >_____>; But hey! Least I'm going into art school at the end of this month so I'm sure I'll learn quite a few stuff along my way to becoming a successful game art and animation student! <8D;

# 16   Posted: Aug 5 2010, 01:19 PM
Rek, the anatomy was pretty jacked. You kept giving everyone super long legs & tiny t-rex arms. Do some life study to bolster your figure drawing. Like a lot of other people, there's a lot of negative space that's not being used adequately in terms of the composition. Huge gutters with sometimes tiny panels. Have your art take up more of real estate of each page. And the backgrounds were flat & weak. Look into some perspective work. And actually spend time thinking about where the characters are & what's going on around them rather than draw a few little details around them as filler. The background's more important than you think.
I find the fact that you actually handlettered a 'DX' disheartening. Text msg keypad shenanigans have no place in comics. If you want to convey that kind of emotion, show it in the characters & their expressions. That's the point of a comic! Emoticons are used to convey emotion in cold hard text when there's no way to infer the feeling behind them. But when you're using a visual medium that you are creating, take full advantage of that. If you're hand lettering, make the letters dreary & sad if you want to have some sort of text effect. But don't write out an emoticon. That's just... that's just crazy!

Val, random for the sake of random's pretty played out at this point. Next time, have an actual story in an actual setting that isn't oblivion & we might have a better idea of where you're at. Also, super boring font choice. Get something that compliments your line art, or practice tightening up the hand lettering you had at the end.

# 15   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 09:12 AM
Bonus points for Robot Unicorn Attack.

Mister Kent
# 14   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 08:21 AM
RektheArtist: You have a cute style and Sammy seems like a nice guy - it was a sweet little story. I don't like it when people use emoticons and such in dialogue except on rare occasions - I think Nideras' expression on the last page was effective without throwing in the DX - all in all good first comic and welcome to Void!

ValravnWings: The color on the first page was neat - I'd like to see more of that. I wouldn't recommend using only talking heads for a first page, though - or using only talking heads, for that matter - mixing it up with some backgrounds would be good. I like your character's design but we didn't get to see much of his cool costume this time - maybe next time, though! Welcome to Void!

# 13   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 04:37 PM
I thought this battle was OK.

Rek: More backgrounds, and zoom out more often, close up shots are good for dialogue and whatnot, but you can't use that same shot for everything, throw up an establishing shot to show where the characters are.

Wings: Ya need to battle again and give it some more time and effort dude, remember, you can chose how long the battle goes on for to suit your needs.

Vote goes to Rek for having the complete battle. And welcome to void you two.

# 12   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 11:37 AM
Rek: KITTIES...Also...I love your character. He's so cute, in a Kuroshitsuji Grell kind of way...if you know what I mean. Kudos on all traditional, but the green got a little boring. The story was super fun!

Valravn: I said it before, I'll say it again. I could NOT stop laughing, especially after the text was added in, and the expressions...the expressions! I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BACKGROUND. IT DIDN'T NEED ONE. IT WAS EPIC.

# 11   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 09:18 AM
Rek: the colored pencils made this comic look ugly.  The scratchy coloring was distracting.  Try to get a more finished look if you want to use colored pencils, or try markers or even do some digital coloring.  Work on your layouts, the black void the panels are arranged on doesn't help.  It looks empty and thrown together.

Backgrounds and establishing shots, do them.  I had no idea where they were at the beginning, and only guessed they were in a park at the end from the grass.  Keep an eye on your characters faces.  Nither character was drawn very consistently in the face and often they had the exact same face shape and features.  Don't relay on hair styles to tell characters apart. And this one is just a pet peeve, but please don't have eyes still visible under hair.  It looks so bad and so lazy.  

Pretty good comic, I hope to see you battle again soon.

Valravn: talking head comic with "random" humor and one page colored.  Eh, I'm chalking this up to poor time management and a lack of ideas.  I didn't like it, and I'm sure you could do better.  

# 10   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 01:31 AM
Whaaaaao~ First thing after coming back home from work was all these FABULOUS comments! ;m; Plus Valravn's uploads. *cracks fingers* Hokay leeets get to me commenting. x>

To pretty much everyone: Again, thank you ALL for commenting and critiquing! :'D You guys totally rocked my night! <3333 Also yes, I do realize that all my coloring was RUSHED. To be honest...I thought that I was gonna comment on each page but guess not. lD; Anyways, this week was terrible for me the fact that I work 8 straight hours for 5 straight days and the deadline was only a week....fffffffff aug!!! Dx Not cool! ;; So, I've decided to work on my pages during my breaks and on my days off traditionally.
@CrimsonViper: Haha actually I do have a photoshop which is what I used to fill in all the white gutters with black cause if I didn' would be extremely blinding to all my readers and that would down my points for sure. next battle comic will hopefully be digital! <8D; Of course I do try to plan to do all flat colors and if I have time, cel shading for sure.
Also, there's a reason why I did this type of coloring it was because lack of colored pencils I had. xD; But as I've said before, I'll try do do my other comics digitally I plan to anyways. >3>

@ValravnWings: ...Dude....Duuuude....Your pages...TOTALLY. MADE. MY. NIGHT. 8DDD I'm quite serious I couldn't stop laughing and giggling for a good 10 minutes. xD If I could keep these pages forever in me heart, I totally would. x) The ending....priceless. xDDD And when they have a scientific battle, I couldn't stop smiling at that. <3 It's ok, I understand that you did have I correct? ^^; Heck, I had work myself. xD So we kinda both were pretty busy in the end and couldn't really do any more works on our parts. ^^;;;; But least we did our best and ummm...yea! <8D Alright let's see here: Your style, I love it. c: It's so unique and I loved all the expressions, they really cracked me up. x> Though, I would've kinda liked to see a bit more pages done and perhaps bit o more storylines but you seriously made me smile and I totally approve of that. <33 I can really tell you rushed this, again I know that feeling. @_@' I don't blame ya for school being in the way. xD But look on the bright side! We'll still be officially in VOID for other battles once we have the time, yes? :3

Hoookay...Sorry for this rather looooooong comment. xD; Thanks again for looking you guys and were such a AWSOME opponent! <3333

# 9   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:37 PM
valravn: strange, quirky, varying art styles, I guess its pretty funny? Nothing wrong with breaking the 4th wall in a silly comic, but I would've liked to see you start carving out a story. That means backgrounds and maybe a little more than just heads and speech bubbles. Good luck next round if you advance!

Rek: I appreciate the hand-drawn comic, and I really dig the hardwritten-text, but you could improve the comic a lot by simply getting a program like photoshop or GIMP and use it to tweak and arrange your panels so there's less flat black negative space. The inks were fine, but the coloring looks blotchy and rushed. That's understandable though, considering the deadline you were working with. Consider a program like gimp to adjust the contrast of your inks and to add simple color patches. Good luck to you as well!

# 8   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:26 PM
Oh my god, this was such a great fight. You guys need to do a battle with more time after the tournament. I want to do a hype art for you guys now. Goddamn. Crits:

Rek: Excellent job finishing so many pages and coloring all of them! I'm not a big fan of the strange, almost-monochromatic coloring, however. Makes everything sort of blend together. But I loved how well you portrayed Nideras interacting with your character-- the faithfulness to the character earned major points in my book. You seem to have a bit of an issue with pacing; you had a lot of pages, but a lot of panels seemed to be too big for what was happening in them, or didn't have the sort of impact I think you were going for. I think this'll improve with practice, however. Excellent first showing, hope to see more from you!

Valravn: I know this week was hard, but I'm super happy you were able to get these in. It's good you were able to handle your time efficiently enough and realized how much you could do with the time you had, and went for this short gag with an absolutely hilarious punchline rather than trying to do something that would be too much for you. Even if you don't win, I hope you stay around and keep trying, hopefully with bigger battles and more time to work with.

Good luck to you guys! Great fight!

# 7   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:20 PM
Hahaha you guys both had me laughing, its a shame your comic was unfinished there V, but it still gave me a good laugh. Rek, I really love the green pallete and it was complete so you get my vote overall : D

# 6   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:10 PM
Yes! I love robot unicorn. XD

1 comment
# 5   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 08:26 PM
This week was unkind to me in every respect, but at least I did not default. I was really close to doing so in frustration though, cause I didn't have time to finish coloring at the very least.

# 4   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 05:58 AM
Alright finished my part. Now...sleep is calling me. xD;

# 3   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 11:06 AM
Good luck you guys!
Valravn- Really like that design sheet! If the comic looks anything like that... wow.

# 2   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 12:13 AM
Welcome to void you two, just remember to do your best, the minimum is a mere 3 pages too! And yes I am going to say this to everybody.

# 1   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:18 PM
Welcome to Void you guys! Put your best foot forward!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 8th, 2010
Votes Cast: 46
Page Views: 930
Winner: RektheArtist

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