I think you should put more planning into your pages. The flow between pages got weirded up a couple times because you would start a page with something that should have ended the previous page, or ended a page with something that should have been the beginning of the next page. It also made the story a little confusing at parts.
Also, the layout is strange in parts as well. On page 5, for example.. All of the panels go to the edge of the page and there are no gutters except for the top panel which has a gutter to the left of it. I think this is actually my favorite page of your comic, it looks really nice, but that one part is a little weird, and the page would have looked a lot better if it matched the other panels.
Overall, the comic is nice looking, I like your style as much as ever, and the story, while simple, was fun to read because that is what it was - fun. I also like that you have started to change things up with Penelope comics while keeping her the same.
Penelope: In Shit / Penelope
Critiques & Comments
# 5
Posted:
Sep 13 2009, 07:08 PM
# 4
Posted:
Sep 13 2009, 03:24 PM
This is so entertaining, this must be the fourth time I've read it again. Or maybe I'm just bored, I'm not sure. But its awesome, excellent story telling and such. Not much to say since its really been said already haha.
# 3
Posted:
Sep 13 2009, 01:40 PM
Hahaha I look forward to Penelope comics so hard, and they never disappoint. This was hilarious, and probably your best storytelling to date. The scene where she's lamenting being typecast as a stoner was great, as was the whole package. It's like you skirt right along the fourth wall with your writing, and it works really well. My only complaint is in places the scans are pretty bad, but that can be worked out. Good job!
# 2
Posted:
Sep 12 2009, 03:28 PM
i really like the stamps you had going on here.
# 1
Posted:
Sep 12 2009, 01:20 PM
I like that you're starting to give your character a little direction without making her into a whoa serious character because I don't think that'd work for Penelope. I look forward to seeing what happens next! The big thing to watch for is there's a lot of places your coloring is becoming extremely muddy. Like the first few panels of the second page colors are bleeding and blending into your blacks. I think the loose coloring works well for you, but you need to try to prevent your colors from bleeding into one another because it hurts your readability.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Sep 18th, 2009
Votes Cast:
18
Page Views:
1728
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