Aston Brennan vs. Buer

Aston Brennan vs. Buer

49.1%
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50.9%
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Critiques & Comments
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necrotoaster
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48 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 06:50 AM
excuse my terrible typos.

necrotoaster
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48 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 06:43 AM
i really love your style, phase. something about it is really a breath of fresh air; i'm nt sure whta exactly it is, but i really like it. great work.

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 9 2009, 09:25 PM
Well, assuming I don't jump a percentage point in the next two hours, let me be the first to congratulate you on your first win, Phaseout!

We'll definitely need a rematch, some day.

michaelharris
Artist
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352 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 06:05 PM
FTS: great first story! I like that you used perpective in it as well.  I would keep working on anatomy because it is still a little wonky. The story seemed kind of slow for me and paneling, especially the circle page, was a little difficult to read.

Phase,: I like the simple linework, I thought it could be strengthened a little by a tad bit stronger anatomy, I liked the colors too, and ogf course anything with Ghost Revolver in it is automatically teh awesome. I like the colors, they remind me of "The little Prince" the scans need to be a little cleaner too.

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 09:02 AM
Last sentence should read "*fourth page had more dialog".  Ugh, I need to proofread these things.

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 09:01 AM
Thanks for the comments so far.  
Hiemie: how do you mean "samey"? From my end all the people look different, but I've been looking at them for weeks, so I'm sure I'm missing something.  Care to elaborate?
Anthill: Yeah, page 3 is a busy page.  I tried a few different layouts with that one and still wasn't satisfied in the end. I should just shrink the text down a few points--that'd probably help give me more room to arrange everything.
William: I kinda wanted the start of the confrontation to be confusing.  After all, Aston is very suddenly confused.  Originally, the third page had more dialog in the shattered frames, but I felt like it was getting in the way so I nixed it.

Hiemie
Artist
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511 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 07:20 AM
To be honest,  Boris/Phaseout's comic was fantastic with its top notch pacing and simple linework. He told a lot of the story without having to explain it with walls of dialogue like a ton of people here do. I do think you need to scan your work better though ...
Slacker, your comic felt kind of average and your people look samey. I at least thought it was good for you to make a plot introduction comic.

William_Duel
Community Manager
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896 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 04:29 AM
Brennan's story has good solid art but yeah I think you need work on the pacing, because I was pretty confused when the confrontation happened, like it was a comic where a few of the pages had fallen out. The series of events were rather confusing although I think you did well to represent Buer even though he wasn't there for long.

Buer had a pretty strong entry.  I liked how it was basically an intro to Void.  He came in, thought he could own the place and wham, he runs into Brennan and then at the end he realizes that it's a place that's bigger than he thought.  The cameos were pretty excellent.  But yeah your art, while interesting, needs a little work and polishing.  Perhaps a few textures or just a few more details to make it stronger.

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 3 2009, 02:13 AM
Not bad you two, lots of things need to be worked on though.


Slacker: Despite your name, this looks pretty well put together and shows your hard work. But your facial anatomy and cross hatching need some work. Also, page 3 was almost unreadable with how you positioned the panels and the dialogue boxes. Experimental paneling is nice and awesome to look at, but you have to make sure the readers eyes follow the direction you set up, and I could not follow where you were going until the second read. The story at first was pretty OK, a nice beginning, but towards the middle you so suddenly hopped into the action that I had no idea what had happened or what exactly was going on.

Well, other than that, this is a good first battle, and I can only hope you grow from here.



Phaseout: Not bad, but recalling something you said earlier about being done early, I can't help but think that the extra time you used to battle again, could of been used to make this comic look a lot better than this. This is messy to the point of looking unfinished. When you're finished with a comic, always always ALWAYS double check what you've got and polish up what you've got, adding details, redrawing panels. If you can do a good number of pages in a short time span, then use the left over time to your advantage.

The story here seems OK to me, but I really couldn't understand much of what was going on until the second read when I realize "Oh, he's eating a soul or something..."




My vote goes to FTS.

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 11:35 PM
I mean "good job Phaseout."  Meh.

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 11:34 PM
Good job, Buer.  Your style is starting to grow on me.  I'm a bit surprised to see Aston being so opportunistic, but I guess everyone has to make money somehow, right?  Hah!

Full Time Slacker
Artist
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15 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 10:51 PM
Uploaded with an hour to spare!

Sleezmeister
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40 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 02:05 PM
Almost here...
Much luck freshies

Sleezmeister
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40 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 02:05 PM
Almost here...
Much luck freshies

Wolcik
Artist
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492 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 12 2009, 04:34 AM
There goes new blood of Void, Good luck :)

bicentennial man
Artist
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55 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 9 2009, 05:28 PM
finally slacker

Dimension
Artist
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489 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 9 2009, 04:50 PM
effing sweeet~

good luck with your first battle guys!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Mar 9th, 2009
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 1021
Winner:

 

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