Ace vz Dreds chpt.00 Better than NOTHIN / Ace, the HeartLess 1

Ace vz Dreds chpt.00 Better than NOTHIN — Ace, the HeartLess 1


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Critiques & Comments
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JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
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462 comments
# 11   Posted: May 16 2008, 04:40 PM
I\'d like to see some black fill areas, in addition to varied line weights to add contrast to the art. Also less objects running together, use whiteout or photoshop to separate inked objects from each other maybe? Page 3, the \"how bout a gun\" panel didn\'t really need to be split in 2 imo. I think your drawings are pretty good,  just employ more variety and work on readability.

luniara
Artist
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528 comments
# 10   Posted: May 16 2008, 06:14 AM
I\'m guessing this was half of your battle, and I\'m glad you posted it. I would start off with a better opening next time. Things just went RIGHT INTO ACTION, and I couldn\'t get a good idea of the situation because of it. It\'s been said about angling your shots better. Your anatomy is getting a few issues, but can easilly be fixed. Just watch and compare. Everything has pretty much been said, so I\'m just going to recommend picking up an old book. (No, not how to draw manga!) but for beginning, I\'d suggest picking up \"How to Draw Comics\" by Christopher Hart.
It\'s pretty basic really, but he maps out rules and paneling, etc. Don\'t touch his other books though. lol! (They get bad from there!)

Good job, lets see some improvement on your next battle!

drawdan
Artist
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294 comments
# 9   Posted: May 12 2008, 10:48 AM
Hey, Glad to see you post jaws....My crits mirror alot of what has already been said. I like the creativity on the hand/weapon morphing for Dreds though...good work there. As far as story, I would work in some more backstory  to add interest to your character. I know my last few battles have been skimpy, but I am following an overall story arch with Dreds. I know you already have something in mind because you eluded to Ace being \'speacal\' in some way in your bio. It would add more interest to the story if along with whatever reason you are fighting with/against your opponent-you also include some character developement  and background on Ace. Why is he special? Why is the Queen Bitch so hot for his bod? etc....keep drawing man, good start now lets see some more battlin!

JawsDrawings
Artist
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35 comments
# 8   Posted: May 12 2008, 07:28 AM
it was just a joke hence the haha
but seriously i am working hard to improve

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 7   Posted: May 12 2008, 07:05 AM
funny, you typically bug people when you don\'t get comments, now you\'re telling them to stop?

-J

JawsDrawings
Artist
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35 comments
# 6   Posted: May 12 2008, 05:43 AM
thanks everyone im glad you guys took the time to read this, i kno i need to work on alot so stop a talking to me and let me work haha

Diascope
Artist
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33 comments
# 5   Posted: May 11 2008, 07:52 PM
  I had a hard time telling what was going on on my first read through, but after the second time I got it.I also had a hard time figuring out what in the world that swoosh thing was in the 1st panel of the second page. I must admit though, I really liked that smashed in car at the beginning of the last page.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 4   Posted: May 11 2008, 07:44 PM
well better late than never.
had it been in the context of the battle i still would have given it to drawdan. the art seemed rushed & the story didn\'t seem to go anywhere. just a lot of the same angle shots of the characters shooting ninjas.... big whoop. vary your angles, your line width, & give us more substance in the story department. also, if you\'re battling someone else\'s character, have the decency to learn how the other character\'s name\'s spelled.

-J

Dimension
Artist
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489 comments
# 3   Posted: May 11 2008, 06:34 PM
I agree with what Angie has said. Yeah, Dred\'s pecs look really weird D: I think they pop out too much. This is pretty good though, I\'d like to see more of this guy :3
cool stuff man.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 2   Posted: May 11 2008, 06:13 PM
It\'s good to see you post your half! You really need some line variation though, the lack of variation is making it very difficult to tell things apart and making things look cluttered. Also be careful with your dialogue, it\'s a bit on the cheesy side and try to proof read your text a little better so you don\'t have grammatical errors like your/you\'re. Your anatomy is also having some issues. The head size is jumping around between too small and too large and while I\'m no expert on muscles, Dreds\' muscles look a little off especially in the chest. In the future, try to work on your backgrounds a bit more as well. Other than that it\'s good for a first battle, just try to push yourself more and work on those issues.

JawsDrawings
Artist
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35 comments
# 1   Posted: May 11 2008, 03:42 PM
i figured i mine as well post something

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: May 18th, 2008
Votes Cast: 23
Page Views: 1095

 

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