Abrupt Return part one / Mize

Abrupt Return part one — Mize

by Mamoru

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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 15   Posted: Jul 20 2008, 11:01 PM
i shall call you master

# 14   Posted: Jul 20 2008, 11:01 PM
ur a master

# 13   Posted: Mar 9 2008, 09:09 PM
Awesome to have you back mr Nishikawa.

that was a fun read, i had to do some quick research to those past battles you listed.
I\'m really digging the action sequences and some of the angles.
The facial expressions show alot of improvement. I still feel you\'re stuff would be even awesomer  when detailed a bit more.

Viva la hiatus!  

# 12   Posted: Mar 6 2008, 09:14 AM
You don\'t know how excited I\'ve been for this. You shoulda told me you were submitting! I thought you were hard at work. LA SIGH...

Everyone else has said thier parts, but you\'re one of my favorite artists- so I just can\'t say a word!

You inspire me to do my half of the story, Mamo. D= I want to see the next paaaart!!

Kotori Ky
# 11   Posted: Mar 5 2008, 09:08 PM
I loved it, Mamo. (And Ashito cracked me the hell up... but then, that\'s a given. Meh. So I\'m predictiable, sue me.) Anyway, I agree with Angie about the faces and the open spaces/flatness in some of the panels, but the tones you\'re working on really have already started to help there. I look forward VERY much to the next half.

HOWEVER... dude... the English... XD Hahaha. Oh Mamo. <3 You hurt me and yet I come back for more. (But the text was kinda distracting... just saying... ya know...)

# 10   Posted: Mar 4 2008, 08:23 AM
These are all helpful comments everyone! Thanks for the support!

And yep, definitely gonna give more detail next time. ( Phil, Angie, Squid, Monday, Rone, everyone who has comment, I shall give you guys hugs :) )

# 9   Posted: Mar 3 2008, 08:29 PM
amazing as always- you should invest in filling up the composition of some of your panels as they tend to come out flat if not aided with your insane colouring style. Investing in minute detailiing can speak volumes about a space like sheens on his glasses, details on background, or even a knock of black tones or two. Otherwise your monochromes can end up looking shallow.

and I\'m biting my knuckles cause you put up a to be continued after managing to wrangle ALL THESE CAMEOS amazingly well into a succinct plot.

but that all shouldn\'t mater cause I\'m having fantasies about fighting mize right now cause I think his story really needs to get a good ol fully automatic charge >: )

# 8   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 11:19 PM
Pretty good Mamoru!

It\'s great to see you back, as always your linework is solid and your stories are the stuff of legends. However like what was previously mentioned, there\'s nothing to look at in this comic. You do great figure work man and your anatomy is top notch. But there\'s just way too much negative space in here man, fill up those backgrounds with some more details, especially those buildings too. I\'m not asking for James Stokoe or Sheldon Vella backgrounds from ya, but don\'t be like Koufuyo and just put in boxes with squares slapped on for windows. You\'ve been around at least as long as I have, you know better than this man.

Best way you could go about filling up negative space should you not want to put in any more details is to either do some cross hatching, stippling, or simple spotted black inking. Using these you could easily guide the viewers eyes to wherever you want them to look without taking away the focus of the story/characters. Speaking of which, my only other complaint so far is the word balloon placement. Your dialogue and story was awesome mang, but one too many times did I accidentally leap into the wrong word balloon, be careful of where you place those things, if some character has something to say between another character\'s dialogue, be sure to have that word balloon near the other word balloons, or just close enough so that the viewer\'s eye can easily hop over from one balloon to another without having to search around.

Other than that dude, I\'m really glad that you\'re back and making comics again, this comic was enjoyable and a pleasure to look at overall. I really hope though that you get back that fire you once had in the earlier years. Let\'s see the SRT champion make a come back now alright?!

# 7   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 06:02 PM
I think your art has improved and this was an enjoyable read. I do however think that your faces tend to be very inconsistent at times. You normally nail front view shots but quarter and profile shots tend to fall short. I think you also would have benefited from a proof reader, I know you just wanted to get it up but don\'t sacrifice readability so you can get something up faster. Your action as always was clear and pretty easy to read and I really enjoyed the dialogue between Mize and Ashito. And like Squid mentioned, definitely work on giving your backgrounds more detail. The backgrounds should have as much effort put into them as the foregrounds.

Other than that it was a pretty good read, I enjoyed it and look forward to the next part

Rone Rivendale
# 6   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 05:35 PM
I have to admit even though I\'m a HUGE Mize fan and have read all your previous comics, I had a hard time keeping up with this. Still very enjoyable though. The art is top notch.

Such a big surpise to see you post new work. You are tied with P2 as my fav Void character. Keep it coming please!

# 5   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 03:12 PM
I love how loose your lines are! They really seem to \"breathe.\" And even though they\'re loose, they don\'t look lazy or rushed. Although I think the pencil lines later on could have been cleaned up.
The backgrounds, however, might benefit from a bit more details... so buildings look like more than boxy shapes.

Sometimes I was confused about speech bubble order. Consider breaking multible-bubble conversations into separate panels.. that would make it easier, I think, to show clearly who\'s talking before whom.

Although I\'m unfamiliar with Mize\'s background, I was still able to enjoy this for the first part anyway... it\'s cool to see an iconic Void character that I know nothing about coming back!

# 4   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 01:30 PM
i don\'t really have much to say, but this was great, and your line work and tones were amazing! nice action panels too, i think that\'s something you\'re strong with =3 hope we get to see more!  

# 3   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 11:23 AM
Pure, undiluted WIN.

Gotta love that style... simple, yet sophisticated. Looking forwards to reading more of Mize\'s adventures. ;3

E.W. Schneider
# 2   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 09:52 AM

This was terrific to see finally up. Let\'s hope we see some more soon.

The Caj
# 1   Posted: Mar 2 2008, 08:46 AM
Whoo first comment!
Great stuff as usual Mamoru, lookin forward to more Mize in the (near) future.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Mar 9th, 2008
Votes Cast: 32
Page Views: 3223


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