Azriel vs. Colt & Evida

Azriel vs. Colt & Evida

51%
804 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

Crit level: No preference

by Craqued

49%
772 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Master Loki
Artist
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35 comments
# 22   Posted: Apr 5 2007, 07:38 PM
Thanks for the crit Kumaru!

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 21   Posted: Apr 4 2007, 09:37 PM
OI thanks for the crits Kuma, those help a lot <3

Kumaru
Artist
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87 comments
# 20   Posted: Apr 3 2007, 09:43 PM
um... you could probably find others but...:
Tones: http://www.tokyopop.com/147.html
Line weight: http://www.tokyopop.com/141.html

Oh! Here\'s the paneling link:
http://telophase.livejournal.com/113219.html#cutid1
Part 3 - Visual Flow is about paneling and eye-movement.

I guess these are all taking about manga and whatnot, but seriously, there\'s stuff to learn for all comics here.................

Kumaru
Artist
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87 comments
# 19   Posted: Apr 3 2007, 09:10 PM
Crits for Craqued!
Stuff I would liek to see in your comics:
More black, even MORE line variation and just more solid/textured blacks. Or yea, take a it a step further with the tones.  The white is just kind of blinding and as Rain said things just start to flatten out.

Straighter boaders are not a requirement by ANY means but it just tightens things up, one thing that got to me and turned me off initially was that things didn\'t look so polished. Tight borders, tight inks and/or tones would really help that.

HEY HEY HOW ABOUT, how about you drawin\' a comic in that crazy insane style you do in the Go For Broke, ey?! That would be awesome.

And for sure, unicorn + the HAND IN MOUTH panel = AMAZING.

If you need help with panel placement I did... find.. this tutorial once...... I will try to dig it up for you, basically it explains how some pages lead your eye easier than others.

Crits for M.Loki!
Yeah that was HILARIOUS.
Also cool to put in color, but your anatomy and proportion and perspective really really ditract from you quality. Really just a practice thing as Craqued said. There are tons of resources for anatomy in the VCU thread and probably your library/whatever. Just really get to know where muscles and bones are located, how they FUNCTION, etc, and keep drawing backgrounds :3


Keep it up! Really cute comics you two, REALLY CUTE!! (;3;

Master Loki
Artist
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35 comments
# 18   Posted: Apr 3 2007, 05:07 PM
Thanks I\'ll definitely be working on those things along the way! Thanks again for the crit I\'ll do some more pinups before I jump into my next fight to work on those things. Thanks, see you around. :3

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 17   Posted: Apr 2 2007, 05:30 PM
MM THANKS excellent crits, I need them. I agree with them all, hopefully slowly I\'ll get better yes, thank yooou! Some crits for you:

You story was hilarious I was so impressed at the effort you put into it. Overall the art was ambitious and I can see your really going for it but your anatomy with both the animals and people was quite off. That just needs practice though, which, my favorite, life drawing will solve. The joints on the people and animals was just very gumby-ish, the limbs were either too long or too short, they looked like they lacked proper skeletons or muscle. The backgrounds were a bit off though perspective wise in some shots and in others it just looked flat. I think shadows would give some depth to your panels and also more detail, there was a lot of blank spots: fill em\' up! Your paneling was awesome and readable though and I liked your outlining very much.

YEA YEA thanks for the fight it was supa fun. <3

Master Loki
Artist
icon
35 comments
# 16   Posted: Apr 2 2007, 09:35 AM
Sounds good! I\'ll crit yours to the best of my ability, though apologies in advance if I misunderstand things here and there. Sorry also for the delay, I\'ve been away since Thursday and I just got back.

Craqued--
Loved the creativity of your entry, how you portrayed my character and the simplest things, like the design of the shop keep and the shop itself. Backgrounds too like on the first page and of the opening shot of the hop really got me. There were a lot of things that were simple that I think if you put a little bit more effort into it could\'ve made the entry tighter, like on the first page, first panel of the Colt bird\'s shadow it\'s not fully blacked in and it makes it look kind of sloppy. And I think that is really where you should wow people, at the least on the first and last pages if all possible. Some of the words were hard to read... for me, I try to save time by writing it by hand like you, just try to slow down or rewrite the stuff that is hard to read, or get someone to help you preread something to see exactly what that is before you ink it in, or just white it out and rewrite it again. On some of your pages, I thinkt here are also some pencil marks left in. Things that really got me was the circles made by the radiopony\'s sniper rifle whose lines were really wobbly circled. I don\'t know also if the non-straight boxes are in your style or not, but if it isn\'t, it\'s an easy fix. I usually use a triangle ruler, graph paper then take the lines out with photoshop, or just make the boxes on photoshop if it is simple enough. Clarity on some pages were off for me too. Yeah the tones got me too. I think it would be better to do nice tones on a few pages or panels than try for a rush job if it comes down to that.

I really liked the layout and expressions on some of your panels, like the one where Colt is smashed in the head by the robot, or when he is pulling on the ears of Evida. Your expressions really stand out to me and I really enjoyed your portrayal of that. I really liked how you connected it with the Defspade battle, I tried to do that too, but I couldn\'t think of a way to do it simple and fast enough, but I loved your explanation -- really innocent and easily explained. Loved the originality too, friggen ah-suhm random fur.

Okay, well that\'s it. I really enjoyed this battle, drawing it and reading yours. Thanks for having it with me again. Haha, thanks.

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 31 2007, 10:04 PM
AGH your totally right, I hadn\'t even planned on using them, it was an afterthought. Next time: more planned out tones! Or none at all. Thaaanks~

Shadow_Rain
Artist
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13 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 30 2007, 05:01 PM
Your lines were fine, it was the dots that made it look flat. o.o It was like contradicting it or something. Or maybe it was just distracting. O.o

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 30 2007, 03:32 PM
Hee, thanks Loki.  You crit mine too man! I need em\' bad. I\'ll crit ya too if ya like~

Shadow: I knooow, I have no panel knowledge at all. It seemed readable to me but yea, I need to pratice that. And why did it seem flat? I tried to vary my line weight and stuff, but should I have added more shadowing and stuff?

Shadow_Rain
Artist
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13 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 29 2007, 10:46 PM
I had to gather up my crits before I started to babble like a crazy baboon.

Anyways...

Master Loki- I did like the fact that I was able to read yours, but panel four took a moment for me to read because it was pokemon battle-esque. It did made me laugh when I saw the whole fight/run. And it made me laugh even more with what happened when he tried to run. XD But some of your colors in your background looked really rushed, which it\'s kinda distracting(well for me it is). Some perspective still needs work, like on page nine on that first panel, but nothing too distracting.

Craqued- Your comic took me forever to read it seemed. Your panel placement was confusing at one point then it was readable the next. But a plus side, I do like the angles you used. It kinda seems flat to me, even if you used the dotted like tone. I do like that unicorn character, that\'s what started to get me interested to finish reading.

My points for this goes to Master Loki but just barely.

Master Loki
Artist
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35 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 29 2007, 09:50 PM
I was waiting for some more comments before responding and I was hoping for some crits too as well. :O I really dig how you were able to pull off the same concept with the rather creative concepts thrown in as well. I can\'t wait to see how you wrap this up in your next fight, haha, \'cause honestly I have no idea why the radiopony was there, but hey, everyone loves ponies and radios. It\'s gotta be good. Thanks for the fun time even though it took me a hell of a long time to finally get settled enough for a battle. :3

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 29 2007, 07:29 PM
UMUM crits would be real nice kids, pleasepleaseplease.

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 29 2007, 12:29 AM
Loki, your comic was so stinkin\' funny, I dig the Pokemon battle concept haha. And you got their nerdy personalties perfectly. Thanks for the fight!

YEA, I know, I tanked on quality last time. I was working on my subject matter and inking a little more and then lost the fuel to do some GOOD toning. But it was fun, and the story was fun and I can work with it more so yea. Haha thanks, that Radiopony was fun.

Heat
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12 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 27 2007, 08:45 PM
This one looks close to me: I\'d say both of you ended up with some pretty good stuff. While I thought Loki was a small cut above with quality, I agree that the Unicorn Man and the robot really made it for me in Craqued\'s comic.

Enjoyed the read.

sabu
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6 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 27 2007, 04:03 PM
Sent in my scores, only comment -- that unicorn man was fucking awesome.

Master Loki
Artist
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35 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 26 2007, 08:55 PM
Aye, got mine done a little bit early (which was a surprise) but same here, can\'t wait to see yours. It was a pleasure, honestly because Colt\'s hair is fun.

Craqued
Artist
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202 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 26 2007, 08:02 PM
Okay Loki, I got my stuff in. It was fun but the story just died BUT seriously it will be continued in me and Orenkie\'s battle, if that happens, yea. Can\'t wait to see yours!

sietekeke
Artist
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27 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 16 2007, 03:07 PM
Good lucka Craqued!

Chair
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34 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 10 2007, 07:36 PM
COME ON CRAQUED, YOU IS THE SHIT!

Hero Karma
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51 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 27 2007, 06:03 AM
Yes! I\'ve been waiting for both your returns, now go for broke!

spinzoa
Artist
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94 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 27 2007, 12:58 AM
Yes yes yes yes. You two, fight rough until someone loses their clothes.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Apr 3rd, 2007
Votes Cast: 40
Page Views: 699
Winner: Master Loki
 

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